Leaders who say they are in control of people have a learning disability. Control “works” only if everyone agrees to play along. Leaders who seek to control others in the system by dictating how people should think and behave, encumber the system with unnecessary adaptions and coping behaviors. People must collude to play a game of power. This coercive power stimulates an intricate network of hidden alignments within the system. The truth becomes increasingly difficult to observe because people have developed compensating measures to keep the system “healthy” in spite of being sick.
Effective leaders do not control, they influence. They know themselves – their strengths and limitations. They act with loving responsibility toward themselves and others. Effective leaders expend no energy attempting to change others, but are passionate about bringing out the best in people. They optimize the potential in their followers by:
- telling the truth and listening to the truth
- actively pursuing a path of personal growth
- giving people freedom to determine their own best courses
- learning the worth and abilities of team members
- encouraging humor and celebration
Effective leaders do no attempt to control the system: they optimize the power of honest, loving responsibility. They foster truth by first being honest with themselves, and honest about the amount of control they possess.